Coastal Calling: Embracing a New Chapter

Amidst the salt-kissed air and the whisper of the rolling waves, I found myself at the precipice of a new beginning—a chapter unfolding with the promise of adventure, self-discovery, and the unknown in the eb and flow of coastal life. 

I wish I could tell that I woke up on a cloudy Monday morning with the realisation that moving was the change my life needed, however what I can say is that when the opportunity came up for this move to be possible I had no doubt that it was the right decision.

At that time it had been a little over five years since I lost my dad. Whilst his passing was one that came suddenly, the depression, grief and loneliness that followed was a slow moving and all-consuming wave I couldn’t outrun. Those years had been an ongoing struggle that I often internalised to the point my jobs became unbearable and my own company was the only one I craved, but amongst it all I fell ever deeper in love with the place I would come to call home. 

Some of my best memories growing up were made on English beaches, and were making shadow puppets on the dark nylon canopy of tents as the summer rain pit patted down around us. This love of camping was what brought us to the Suffolk coast in my teens. Whilst I am sure I should have thought I was far too cool for it, my inner nerd got the best of me and I only craved to know more about the castle ruins of Framlingham and the lost village of Dunwich. More than that, there was something about the town of Southwold that just felt like home and kept me coming back year after year. 

Making the Move

I like to tell myself that relocating wasn’t a choice so much as the next chapter of my life, I have come to realise that though it may have been one I made out of necessity for my sanity, it was definitely a decision and not one that should be taken lightly. 

After living for 27 years at home with my family, there were a lot of aspects to consider. Not only was I moving out into my first home, I was moving away from everyone and everything I know, including my pregnant best friend and others I had known for a lifetime.

At the time I was working in a dream role in an all-female company, having experiences I could not have imagined in London, a city I was realising I knew so little about and was loving exploring as part of my job. When the opportunity presented itself for this fantasy of mine to become reality, it was my plan to commute in order to keep this job, however I quickly learnt getting the best of both worlds is not always possible. 

Lesson 1 - Not everyone is going to be as excited about change as you are. 

Whether it comes from a place of fear, care or selfishness, if you are thinking or in the midst of big changes in life, just know that support is not going to come from the places, or people, you have originally thought it would. Colleagues didn’t celebrate my starting a new chapter and many friends seemed to only distance themselves from me and this irresistible journey I was about to embark upon. 

Lesson 2 - Don’t be afraid to ask for help. 

That being said, sometimes you need to just bite back the pride and ask for a favour when you need one from those you trust. For me, this came in the way of asking my family to drive the little life of mine I had packed up into a rented truck to my new home. It’s okay to want help, just don’t be afraid to ask. Often there are more people rallying for us than we think. 

Embracing the Next Chapter:

So I made the move.

Call it a leap of faith or just following my gut, whatever it was I did it and I have to say, it wasn’t the huge moment I expected. There was no movie moment and still no epiphany, but what there was was waking every morning being able to breathe without anxiety for the day ahead sitting heavy on my chest. What I found was a place I simply just fit in. 

I am lucky enough to say I love my life. It has taken mere months for me to say I am happy. No it's not perfect but I also have a hell of a lot more life to live and perfect can come later. For the first time ever I can say I genuinely enjoy going to work with people I like being around. I get to wander to the sea just a short walk from my house and explore all the countryside has to offer.

Recognising the Signs:

There were a lot of reasons for me wanting to make this move that go beyond loving this little area on the coast of England and I am well aware that picking up my life and taking it here is no quick fix for those things. It is, however, a start on the path I want my life to continue on. Recognising the need for change in one's life is not a simple thing. Being far from an expert, therapist or life coach I am not in a position to tell you what to do, but for me it was the little things that lead me to the decision:

• No longer feeling fulfilled 

• No ‘get up and go’ or motivation 

• Weight gain 

• Unhealthy habits 

• Gut feeling 

• Loss of passion 

With little left to tie me to my old town, no partner or career path on the horizon, these little things were the nudges poking at my back to make some kind of change necessary. If you are feeling a similar way my advice is take a step back. Distance yourself and take a look at the life you have and the path you are being presented. There is no predestined journey for us to take and life goes by in the blink of an eye, so weigh up what is making you happy and what is pulling you down. It may seem small, but it’s a good start and can get you reflecting on what changes you could possibly make the get you to where you want to be.

Lesson 3 - It is no quick fix. 

Think of a move or big change as the first step in the right direction. You’ve faced the roundabout and put the car into gear. You have taken the right exit and get to navigate the journey ahead, speed bumps, potholes and all, there’s beauty in it if only remember to look up.

Finding Gratitude:

The years hardships have made me numb to a lot of aspects of life, something I struggle with on the daily, and along with feeling like the journey I am on was just meant to be for me, consciously taking a pause to really take in where I am is something I am working on and is one of the main reasons for the creation of this blog. It is so easy to let life go by and not realise that these are the days we are meant to be remembering. That the day to day, the mundane, the boring, those are the moments of magic. That living for the weekend or in the hopes of something better isn’t really living at all. Feeling gratitude each day. In the days waking up to the sound of seagulls. Days healthy enough to go for a run along the beach scattered with smiles and the whispers of history. Days spent with colleagues each going through their own day.

Days like these.